Step Two – The Bean Bomb

Step Two on our Spirit Farting path? The Bean Bomb!

Come at this with some pride, you deserve it! Stand proudly and lay it on us. It’s a comfortable temperature – no burn ass here! This one is wholesome and has a girth to it you just don’t find in your run of the mill fart in a can. The feel good fart that everyone can get behind – The Bean Bomb!

People will stop.
cal-retroart-0814-204_LPeople will stare. People will have smeller’s envy over your colonic control. Let them!





So, what do we do? How do we achieve the glory that is the Bean Bomb?

Here it is….

wait for it….wait for it….                                  man-shouting-with-vintage-bullhorn-retro_z1lTQP8u_L


We stop putting poison into our bodies!! 





Eating “food” that isn’t really food will prevent you from being your best you. It’s progressive I know but, bear with me you don’t have to get all douche bag with it. No one needs to hear your stories of when you were vegan….again.

Don't be a douche.
Don’t be a douche.

Aristotle said it best, “We are what we repeatedly do.”

When we learn to repeatedly make wiser, more mindful choices when deciding what we are feeding ourselves and our family, we create huge ripples. I think that’s pretty cool.  I will not preach the “best” diet because, it doesn’t exist. Everyone is different. What’s best for me might be your nightmare Superbowl Spread. Instead, learn where you can make changes to ensure your body is getting the vast array of nutrients that it needs. If you “need a brownie” eat the fucking brownie. Just don’t eat six. Perhaps experimenting with brownie recipe substitutions would be something you’d enjoy. Get obsessed with making the most nutrient dense brownie in the universe! That way we can eat six!!sketch-of-happy-young-women-vector-illustration_zkdRaZO__L

Check your cupboards. Become aware of what you are giving your body to work with. If you are super new to mindful eating, then I would suggest highly that you delve into the rabbit hole of chemicals you are finding on those ingredient lists. Do your own research. I cannot open your eyes for you, I can only share from my own experience.

My strictest limits are here: 

  • Dyes

  • MSG (artificial flavor in general)

  • Aspartame (any fake sugar, really)

  • Preservatives

  • Hydrogenated Oils

Check this out.

Next is the “as much as we can avoid it” list:

  • Flour

  • Sugar

  • Dairy

It is seriously killing us.

From there, see what works for you. A friendly PSA: If cold turkey is your style, be prepared for a wacky two weeks! Get through this and, you can do anything! Your brain will be clearer without all that inflammation. Your body will feel tons better. You’ll feel like a brand new you!

Congratulations! You’ll be the Bean Bomber those guidance counselors warned your parents about!



3 comments on “Step Two – The Bean BombAdd yours →

  1. Have you thought of sharing some recipies? Are you anti yogurt? How do u make your broccoli salad? How do you avoid the posted ingredients? How long has it been since you ate mcdonalds? Tell us more!!! Teach us your ways!

    1. I really don’t use recipes all that often. I’m italian – we cook with our nose! That broccoli salad was me just winging it. I don’t recall exactly. Bacon….Mayo…Honey…Apple Cider Vinegar(Shout out to Bragg’s!!)…Cranberries…Almonds…Broccoli…Salt/Pepper…something like that. I do have a Paleo pasta recipe that is bangin’. I will share.
      I’m not anti yogurt (I’m not really anti anything except jerks. I’m anti-jerk!). I eat plain greek yogurt. I use it as sour cream. I put it in smoothies. I’ve even cured a yeast infection with it.
      For avoiding ingredients, the best advice I can share is good prep. When you’re starving, you’re grumpy and don’t feel like making good choices. So you make shitty choices, and wonder why you’re tired an hour later. But when you have stuff ready, you go for it and your body thanks you. Have cut and washed veggies in the fridge. Learn to love smoothies. Drink more water. Eating out is tough. I keep a lot of bars in my purse. I must insist on sharing the knowledge that I am human and indulgence, to a degree is sort of the point to existence. So with that, I eat garbage (McDonalds, Taco Bell, the Mexican joint up the street) probably once a week. Sometimes – don’t tell anyone – I’ll even order a Coke! <3

What do you think?

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